{Day 7} The Intentional Help Meet

Welcome to Day #7 of the 31 Days to Professional Homemaking series.  To learn more about this series and to see the list of topics, click HERE.  Please know that I am not an expert in marriage, motherhood, or homemaking.  I'm just a woman {who happens to be a wife, mother, and homemaker}, trying to figure it all out, by the grace of God.  This series is just as much for me as it is for anyone reading.

Before we get started, I'd like to offer you the following button, in case you want to share this series with your readers:

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So far, in our home building process, we've cleared away the trees {established our focus} on professional {intentional} homemaking by talking about what it is and why it matters, living a lifestyle of worship, and the purposes of our home.  Then, we moved on to laying the foundation by discussing biblical examples to follow, casting a vision for our family, and identifying our home culture.  

Now, we're moving on to the next phase of the building process: building the structure.  In this phase, we're going to talk more specifically about your {and my} roles as wife, mother, and homemaker.  Then, once we've got our structure built, we'll move on to the finishing touches: practical things you can do to become a more intentional homemaker.

Today, we're starting with our role as "wife".  But, before we even get started, please allow me to share a confession with you: I do not consider myself qualified to share this post with you today.  I have been married a little over five years and I have yet to achieve "perfect wife" status {though, I imagine, no one else has achieved it either}.  So, this isn't me pretending to be an expert on the matter.  This is simply me, a fellow doing-the-best-she-can woman, sharing what the Bible has to say about my responsibilities within a marriage.

Sound good?  Okay, great.  Here we go...

"Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.'"

{Genesis 2:18}

The first chapter of Genesis tells the story of the creation of the world and in chapter 2, we learn that God rested on the seventh day.  Then, it goes on to give an account of the creation of man and a little later on in the chapter, God makes a statement: "It is not good for the man to be alone...".

So, what does God do about it?  He creates a helper for Adam.  Someone who will come along side of him and help him keep the garden.  Someone who will be his companion and friend.  Someone who is created just for him.  A gift...

Ladies, if you are married, this is your purpose as a wife: to help your husband.  To come along side of him and help him achieve his dreams.  {And, if you've got a great guy like I do, he will return the favor and help you achieve yours.}  We also have the opportunity to be his companion, best friend, and closest confidant.  To be a gift; something of value in his life.

"An excellent wife, who can find?  For her worth is far above jewels."

{Proverbs 31:10}

Unfortunately, though, if you were to suggest to the average meet-her-in-the-middle-of-the-grocery-store woman to do something nice for her husband today, what kind of response do you think we would receive?

"Why?  What has he done for me lately?"

"Oh, please.  That lazy bum?"

"He doesn't deserve it."

"Um, I don't think so..."

Oh, but ask that same woman to do something nice for herself today and she's likely to leave her shopping cart in the middle of the aisle in a mad dash to the luxurious spa down the street.

"Feminism is mixed up with a muddled idea that women are free when they serve their employers but slaves when they help their husbands."

G.K. Chesterton

But, the Bible says we were created to help our husbands.  This doesn't mean that you should baby him or that you're required to give him a nightly foot massage.  It just means that if we are striving to be intentional homemakers, then we'd be wise to look for ways to be his helper whenever we can.  And, yes, a foot massage every now and then may not be such a bad idea.

Just a side note: I have often heard women say, "I'm not going to help him because he doesn't do anything around the house anyway.  Meanwhile, I'm swamped with cooking, chores, and taking care of our children."  Honestly, I have felt the same way about my husband at times.  But, you know what?  I have found a little secret: the more helpful I am, the more helpful he is.  

When I don't nag him and instead, choose to do nice things for him {like iron his uniforms or pack his lunch}, he feels loved.  Out of his love, he steps up to the plate and folds that load of laundry that I haven't gotten to yet or takes it upon himself to cook dinner {when I would have just thrown in a frozen pizza}.

But, lest you get the wrong idea of our marriage {it's not all a bed of roses, you know}, let me be completely real with you: my husband isn't always deserving of my help.  Sometimes I get so frustrated with him that the last thing I want to do is to speak to him, much less to help him in any way.  

Don't get me wrong, though.  I don't want tell you this to make my husband look bad.  I tell you this because he's human and so am I.  And the good Lord knows that putting two humans in such an intimate relationship together is bound to result in the occasional frustration.  But, does that give me permission to abandon my purpose?  Absolutely not!

So, whether he deserves it or not, what are some practical ways we be obedient to our God-given purpose as wives and be a helper to our husbands today?  Here are some questions we could ask ourselves:

• Is there something that is causing him stress that you could take off his plate?
• If finances are a burden for your family, is there something you could do to help lighten that load, even just a little?
• Is there something practical you could help him with: wash his car, fill up his gas tank, organize his dresser drawers {again}, fix his lunch?
• When friction arises, is there any way you could communicate your feelings that would help him to understand you a little better?

And, really, when you're fresh out of ideas, just ask: "Hey, hon, is there any way I can help you today?"  I know it may sound like you're practicing to work in a department store, but rest assured he will appreciate your asking.  Once you start helping, don't be surprised if he starts to act a little more positively towards you.

Today's Challenge:

Each day, I'll give you a challenge: one small thing you can do to apply each day's topic to your life and your home.

Here's your challenge for today:

1. Do you struggle with wanting to help your spouse?  If so, where do those negative thoughts come from?  It is likely that they come from a society that would have you believe that you should always "look out for #1".  But, this is not the message of the Bible, which would have us to serve others.  If you've bought the lies of the world, ask God to forgive you for being selfish and ask that He would remind you to be the kind of helper that He has designed you to be.  {I need to pray this, too.  So, please, no one feel like I'm picking on them, okay?}

2. Make a list of ways you can help your husband.  Then, choose one to complete today.  {Don't toss the list after today, though... keep in on hand and randomly surprise your man from time to time}.

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FOR DAY #6: CULTIVATING A HOME CULTURE
CLICK HERE.

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FOR DAY #8: THE INTENTIONAL MOTHER
CLICK HERE.

God Bless,

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Linked To:
Anti-procrastination Tuesdays at New Nostalgia
Titus 2sdays at Time-Warp Wife
Teach Me Tuesdays at Growing Home
Titus 2 Tuesdays at Cornerstone Confessions
Heart + Home Link Up at Mercy INK
Women Living Well Wednesdays at Women Living Well Ministries
Homemaking Link Up at Raising Homemakers
Works For Me Wednesdays at We Are THAT Family