Monday Motivation: On Jealousy and Comparisons

Happy Monday, everyone!  Did you have a great weekend?  I hope it was wonderful!

{Yes, I know it's technically Sunday, but I figured I'd post this now and free up my morning to prepare for the day ahead.  Thanks for understanding.}

My husband was on "vacation" last week.  I put the word "vacation" in quotes because it wasn't all play.  Monday and Tuesday, we were in Birmingham, Alabama, celebrating my birthday and our five year anniversary.  Then, as soon as we got home, we started to tackle a whole house decluttering session that lasted several days in a row.  But when it was over?  Man oh man, did it feel great to have a home with room to breathe.  Needless to say, after seeing the results we've seen, I'm that much more motivated to keep things this way.  {I forgot to take before and after pictures, but honestly, you wouldn't have wanted to see them anyways.  I promise.}

Now that our home is in order {for the most part}, I'm free to take a few minutes out of my day to tackle this week's Monday Motivation post.  But, before I share it, I have to tell you that I'm probably going to do away with these post, as well as Friday Favorites, in the future {at least, as far as having a motivational or favorites posts being reserved for only one day of the week}.  You see, dedicating every Monday and Friday to specific posts only gives me one day a week to write as inspiration strikes and, quite frankly, that's not enough for me.  {See more on why, for the time being, I'm only posting three times a week, HERE.}  I don't want to be a blogging robot: Monday Motivation, Whatever Wednesdays, and Favorites Fridays.  That would be super boring, don't you think?  Yeah, me too!

NOTE: I'm not getting rid of Monday Motivation or Fridays Favorites all together.  They will pop up from time to time.  I simply don't want to confine myself to such a redundant schedule week after week.

Alright.  Now that I have said all of that, let's get on to today's post, shall we?

{Found on Pinterest; When I clicked through, I landed at this website.}

Ah, jealousy.  Green eyed monster.  Whatever you call it, it is something that starts out innocent enough: "Wow, she's a really great cook"; "She always dresses so cute"; "What a lovely home they have".  Really, there is nothing wrong with any of these statements.  In fact, they're simply compliments, right?  

If you stop at saying/thinking compliments like these, then all is well.  But, too often, we {yes, that includes me, too} take it a step further and start to compare: "Wow, she's a really great cook... I wish I could cook like her"; "She always dresses so cute... I wish I had her body/wardrobe"; "What a lovely home they have... I wish my home looked this pretty/clean/organized/etc".  We mentally line up our lives with the lives of others and quite often, find fault with ourselves, our husband, our children, our home, and our lives.  We think that the other person is better than us in some way and we begin to covet what they have {skills, physique, possessions}.

Problem is, once we start comparing ourselves to others, we open the door for jealously to rear its ugly head in the form of being discontent.  And, believe me, jealousy and a lack of being content with one's life is a slippery slope that leads to destruction.  But, it doesn't have to be this way.

If you remember back to my very first Monday Motivation post, I talked about being content with our lives and how we should replace negative thoughts with those of thanksgiving.  The same solution applies when you are no longer content with your life due to the fact that you've begun to compare it, not only to what YOU thought your life should be, but to what the lives of others' looks like from the outside {which, by the way, is usually not all it's cracked up to be}.  So, a good way to start practicing gratitude is to do just as our quote for the day says: count OUR OWN blessings, instead of those belonging to other people.

Instead of thinking things like "I wish I could cook as well as her", I should thank God for blessing me with enough knowledge to be able to feed my family something and for the money to be able to put food on the table.  Instead of "Why can't I have a body/wardrobe like her", I could thank God for providing our family with money to be able to afford to clothe ourselves and for the fact that my value isn't found in a number on the bathroom scale or in a designer outfit.  Rather than wallow in thoughts like, "I wish my home looked this pretty/clean/organized", I could thank God for a non-leaky roof over my head, a working air conditioner/heater, running water, and money to pay the electric bill each month.  Plus, as your practicing gratitude, keep in mind that it is likely that other people look at your life and wish they had what YOU have.

By the way, there is nothing wrong with seeking to improve something that you are discontent with, as long as you keep things in perspective.  For example, it's not wrong to want to obtain a certain amount of cooking skills.  Doing so would allow you to serve your family better and would likely open the door for more ministry and hospitality opportunities such as inviting people over for dinner or taking a meal to a new mom.  I repeat, setting a goal to better your cooking skills is a perfectly acceptable thing.  Therefore, the problem isn't with your desire to be a better cook, rather it lies in comparing your lack of ability with the skills of someone more advanced than yours, then in turn, coveting their abilities.

To summarize, we have all been richly blessed and to compare our family/home/life to those of others, to the point of jealousy, is only doing damage to ourselves.  It is a trap that takes captive far too many people.  Please don't allow the "green eyed monster" to have his way with you.  Replace comparison with counting blessings.  You'll be surprised by how great your life really is.

Blessings,

Linked To:
Anti-procrastination Tuesdays at New Nostalgia
Titus 2sday at Time-Warp Wife
Teach Me Tuesdays at Growing Home
Titus 2 Tuesdays at Cornerstone Confessions
All Things Heart and Home at MercyINK

Thrive @ Home Thursdays at Jenni Mullinix
Hearts 4 Home Thursdays at Our Simple Country Life
Grace at Home Thursdays at Imparting Grace